More Pronunciation-caused Woes

Effective Usage

Ah, the Midwest.  It’s a lovely place to live.  The change of seasons, the nearly universal love of football, the vague pronunciation of certain vowel sounds which causes regular misuse of certain word pairs.  Marvelous.

What’s that?  That last one seems a little off?  You’re right.  It’s not one of the marvelous things about the Midwest.  It’s one of the things about the Midwest that drives me a little crazy.  For one reason or another, we Midwesterners tend to mush up our short-a and short-e sounds into either a universal use of the short-e sound or an indistinguishable short-u sort of sound.

One of my favorite examples of this pronunciation problem is in how the Midwestern utterance of then and than confuses people to no end.  Of course, I recently did a column about then (reference to a point in time, most frequently used as an adverb) and than (a conjunction used for comparisons), so I’ll not rehash that here.

That beginning vowel sound also makes affect and effect a tough determination.  Affect is most often a verb: Sunny weather affects her mood positively.  On the other hand, effect is almost always a noun: Sunny weather has a positive effect on her mood.  If we all just pronounced effect with a long-e sound, I think this issue would clear right up.  If you’re looking for a trick for this one, though, my best suggestion is to think of affect as an action and remember that they both start with a.

Another terrific example is the subtle pronunciation difference between accept and except, a difference that in the Midwest is all but lost.  Of course, the words have almost opposite meanings and uses, so it’s important to make the distinction.  Accept is a verb meaning to take or receive; except is a conjunction or preposition used to exclude something.  My little trick for this pair is that except has an X in it, so you can think of it as crossing something out or excluding something. 

The a-for-action trick also works for accept and except, but I like the X trick better.  It makes me think of X-Men, which makes me think of Wolverine, which makes me think of Hugh Jackman, and Hugh Jackman makes me smile no matter how he pronounces vowels. 

Being Objective

Pronoun Use Not So Subjective

Nothing grates me quite as much as improper pronoun usage. Well, okay, quite a few things grate me that much, but that’s not to say I’m not seriously irritated by the confusion of subject and object pronouns.

Object what? Who’s objecting?

I am, my friends.  I am objecting to the use of object pronouns in place of subject pronouns and vice versa. Let me clear up those definitions for you before we move on: object pronouns are used as the objects (often of prepositions) in a sentence, while subject pronouns are, fittingly, the subjects of sentences or clauses.

Here’s an abbreviated list of the most common pronouns in each category:

subject pronouns                               object pronouns

I, he, she, they, we, it, who                 me, him, her, them, us, it, whom

And here’s the reason I need to write this column:

Her and I are going to the mall.

I need to go with he and Becky.

Me and him are leaving for Grammar Camp. (And boy, do they need it!)

I could go into a lengthy diatribe about how subject and object pronouns are to be used, but for the sake of ease and column length, here’s the quick-and-dirty reference: if you’re using two pronouns or a pronoun with a noun, take one out to determine which one to use.

I realize that makes no sense.  Here’s what I mean:

You want to say that you’re going somewhere with someone.  Take yourself (or the other person) out of the equation to determine the pronoun. In the first sentence above, you wouldn’t say, “Her is going to the mall,” so you also don’t say, “Her and I are going to the mall.” The I is correct.  Sentence two highlights the opposite problem: “I need to go with he,” would almost certainly never cross your lips. The final sentence has both pronouns wrong (and in the incorrect order, but that’s a different lesson); it should be, “He and I are leaving for Grammar Camp.”

Thankfully, most people only make these errors when using two or more pronouns or pronouns in conjunction with nouns, so this handy reference rule works out most of the kinks for most people.  If you regularly use the incorrect pronoun all by itself (him is going to the park or I gave it to she), and it sounds correct to you, I’m not certain a column in a weekly newspaper is enough help for you.

With Absolute Certainty

Absolutely, overused

I got a request a while back to consider the word absolutely and its frequency of use.  I did a little bit of digging and found that many sources – including Jeremy Butterfield, a lexicographer whose book Damp Squid: The English Language Laid Bare is a jewel – cite absolutely as one of the most overused words in the English language.  Butterfield lists it as the sixth most overused word in the language.

Because I’m not sure precisely when the overuse began, I can’t speculate with much precision why it has become so popular.  My guess, however, would be that because there has been so much uncertainty in so many areas of life in recent years, people are reaching out for a word that expresses absolute certainty.  And what better than absolutely? 

Horrifyingly enough, I am one of the absolutely over-users.  I didn’t realize that I used it with such regularity until I got the email about it, and then I started noticing the frequency with which I had used it when I would go back through digital recordings of interviews I have done for Current.  Good grief!

In my case – and I think in the case of some others – when having a conversation where I want to continue to give verbal and physical cues that I am paying attention and understanding the party doing the speaking, absolutely becomes a way to keep from repeatedly saying yes or simply nodding all the time.  And without sounding as if I’m just saying this to keep myself in the right, I think this is a somewhat forgivable use of absolutely.

For others, though, absolutely is just a way to respond positively to questions:

            Did you do your homework?  Absolutely.

            Do you want syrup with your waffles?  Absolutely.

            Are you being tried for murder tomorrow?  Absolutely.

This is where I take issue.  The problem, I think, is that by using absolutely as a replacement for yes, the former becomes a watered-down version of itself.  It doesn’t change the meaning of the response, but it does make a strong word weaker by virtue of overuse.  And continued overuse of absolutely actually makes it sound less sincere than a plain ol’ yes.  Why else would you use it when yes works just as well?

In general, if you can respond with yes, do so.  Use absolutely much less frequently, and only when you truly mean without a doubt or unequivocally. 

It's versus its

It’s not so tough

I’m not perfect, even when it comes to grammar.  I know that probably comes as a great shock to you, but it’s true. 

When I’m using instant messaging or writing a Facebook status, I am especially prone to grammatical gaffes.  Several weeks ago, I wrote the following Facebook status update: “Its too hot to think.”  I clicked on update before I reread what I’d just written, and then, there for the whole world to see, was a giant grammatical error by a self-proclaimed grammar guru.

Immediately, I replied to my own status: “It’s, not its, is what I meant.”  I followed that shortly thereafter with, “Wow.  I really am a geek.  Who else corrects the grammar in her own status updates by replying to herself?”  Then I’d becoming Top News, so I got all sorts of replies, from, “As long as you don’t correct the grammar in my status updates, you’re fine,” to, “You write a column about grammar, and you’re just now figuring out that you’re a geek?”

I digress.  I have two points: one is that even people who know better sometimes make stupid mistakes, the other is that its is a possessive pronoun.  Let’s focus on that second point.

Although I have discussed its and it’s before, I continually get emails asking me to revisit the subject.  Confusion of the two is both common and – apparently – easy.  I’m not exactly sure why people are so confused by the two words, but I can obviously understand making the mistake even when you know better.

It’s is a contraction for it is or it has.  Contractions always have apostrophes.  Always.  If you are removing letters from a word or words, the apostrophe is there to acknowledge that you know what you’ve done.

On the other hand, its is a possessive pronoun, as I have already stated.  Possessive pronouns, with only one exception, do not have apostrophes: his, hers, theirs, their, ours, our, my, mine, your, yours, its, whose.  Any apostrophes there?  No.  (The exception is one’s.)  Just as you would never – I hope – write her’s or their’s, you don’t use it’s to show possession. 

And on the flip side, of course, you don’t use its as a contraction.  Even on Facebook.

Sentence Fragments

Fragments: Friend or Foe?

A sentence fragment is a basic error that beginning writers make with relatively frequency. By beginning writers, I mean anyone who has not yet started middle school.

Anyone in middle school or beyond that point, however, should be able to avoid fragments with relative ease and skill. They are generally easy to identify because most people know the difference between an independent clause and a dependent clause and the difference between and phrase and a clause, even if such terminology causes a knee-jerk stomach-churning reaction.

Phrases and clauses are the easiest: His big red bicycle with shining wheels is obviously not a sentence because there is no verb. Spun recklessly out of control through the busy street is also not a complete sentence because it lacks a subject.  Clauses have both subject and verb; phrases do not. Put the two example phrases together, though, and you have a lovely sentence about a scary incident.

Independent clauses and dependent clauses are a little trickier, but they differ in only one basic way: the former can stand alone as a sentence, and the latter cannot (hence its being dependent). Most of the time, though, this distinction is fairly plain, too, because dependent clauses often begin with subordinate conjunctions (while, if, after, although, whereas, because). I don’t think anyone would argue that Because he was covered from head to toe in lime Jell-O is a complete sentence.

Disturbing? Yes.

Complete? No.

My favorite kind of fragment, though, is a special little devil called the anacoluthon. Generally, an anacoluthon is created when the writer starts with one thought and ends with a separate thought without connecting the two properly: Emma’s little dog Fluffy, whose barking annoys the entire block, as anyone in the area can attest. Do you see the issue?

And it doesn’t just happen with relative clauses, either: The matter was taken up with the city council held its meeting in the new board room. It’s a miniature sentence implosion, if you will. The anacoluthon is most often created, I think, when a person starts writing a sentence, then breaks for lunch or some other task and comes back to the writing an hour later. Still, it’s easily recognizable and takes only a little bit of creativity to correct.

When you know what you’re doing, however, sentence fragments can add a certain flourish to your writing. I use fragments regularly in this column. Generally I use them to create a conversational tone or to draw attention to a particular point. Occasionally I use them as a comedic device. And for an informal work such as this column, that’s acceptable. Truly formal writing (analytical work, cover letters, formal reports) should not contain sentence fragments.

The point is this: sentence fragments do serve a purpose for the writer who knows what to do with them and uses them intentionally. Unfortunately for the fifth-graders of the world, failing to recognize fragments in their work does not constitute purposeful use.

Who, Whom, and That

Who Knew?

One of the toughest questions in grammar deals with a seemingly simple word: who.  There are two facets that frequently confuse people about who: when to use who versus whom, and the lesser-known rule regarding the use of who versus that.  Let’s tackle that last one first and then move on to the real juggernaut.

The who-versus-that issue is really just a matter of remembering about whom or what you are speaking.  Who is reserved solely for human beings.  Any reference to anything else (even beloved pets that we treat like human beings) is made using that. 

This isn’t a particularly difficult rule, but it gets broken frequently and almost solely in one direction: referring to people as that.  For example, how often can you recall hearing someone say, “He’s the one that fixes concrete problems” or something to that effect?  He should be the one who fixes concrete problems unless, of course, he is actually a concrete-fixing Muppet or other non-human being.  The reverse of the error rarely occurs: “Where’s the building who fell down last week?”  See why?

So what about the tougher distinction of who versus whom?  There’s a trick to this one: look at the situation as answering a question.  If you would answer the question with he (or she), then you need to use who.  If you would answer the question with him (or her), then you need to use whom.  Here are examples: Whom did she take to Jamaica?  She took him.  To whom does this shoe belong?  It belongs to her.  Here’s the opposing view: Who needs a pencil?  He does.  Do you know who shot J.R.?  I think she did.

That little trick works for almost every comparison of who versus whom, and it works well as a handy reference when you aren’t carrying a grammar and style manual with you, which I’m guessing you don’t often do.  If you have trouble remembering which goes with which, just remember that whom and him both end in m, so they belong together.

Where it All Began: The Grocery Store

Lesser (or Fewer?) of Two Evils

Being a grammar guru, I have a lot of pet peeves related to grammar. A lot. My husband jokes that if I become any more irritated by grammatically incorrect signs and advertisements, we won’t be able to go anywhere any more, much less shop anywhere. He may be correct.

I tried a while back to boycott all stores that had check-out lane signs that broke the less-versus-fewer rule. It’s a really easy rule that many people don’t even realize exists. So of course it’s a pet peeve of mine.

The problem? Several grocery stores use signs at check-outs that read, “12 items or less.”

Can you hear my teeth grinding?

It’s not just because of the person in the fast lane with four hundred items.

The fast-lane signs should read, “12 items or fewer.” The store that I find has the lowest prices on the items I need most often is one of the offenders. Drat! And I’ve found that none of the grocery stores I boycotted for the erroneous signs replaced them with grammatically correct ones because of my lack of business. Bugger!

But back to the grammar. Why, you ask, should the signs say fewer instead of less? Fewer is the comparative adjective used for items that can be counted. You should use less when referring to something that must be measured. This is a fairly black-and-white rule with few ways to confuse it. Examples are as numerous as you can imagine: fewer cakes, less sugar; fewer miles, less distance; fewer appointments, less stress.

The answer is as simple as, “Do I count them, or do I measure it?”

The other answer is, “No, I should not get in the 12-items-or-fewer lane with my overflowing cart of groceries.” Not all my pet peeves are grammar-related.

An Introduction

My name is Brandie Bohney, and I enjoy grammar.  It's possible that there are meetings for such grammar enthusiasts.  But rather than attend those meetings, I'm starting a blog.

I write a weekly grammar column in order to encourage good grammar; "The Grammar Guru" runs in three central-Indiana newspapers published by Current Publications.  These are reprints of those columns.  Some were printed more than two years ago, and others were printed just weeks prior to my posting them here. 

If you stumble upon this blog and have a specific question, feel free to comment or email me directly at bbthegrammarguru@gmail.com.  I'll do my best to get back to you as soon as I can.