Who, Whom, and That

Who Knew?

One of the toughest questions in grammar deals with a seemingly simple word: who.  There are two facets that frequently confuse people about who: when to use who versus whom, and the lesser-known rule regarding the use of who versus that.  Let’s tackle that last one first and then move on to the real juggernaut.

The who-versus-that issue is really just a matter of remembering about whom or what you are speaking.  Who is reserved solely for human beings.  Any reference to anything else (even beloved pets that we treat like human beings) is made using that. 

This isn’t a particularly difficult rule, but it gets broken frequently and almost solely in one direction: referring to people as that.  For example, how often can you recall hearing someone say, “He’s the one that fixes concrete problems” or something to that effect?  He should be the one who fixes concrete problems unless, of course, he is actually a concrete-fixing Muppet or other non-human being.  The reverse of the error rarely occurs: “Where’s the building who fell down last week?”  See why?

So what about the tougher distinction of who versus whom?  There’s a trick to this one: look at the situation as answering a question.  If you would answer the question with he (or she), then you need to use who.  If you would answer the question with him (or her), then you need to use whom.  Here are examples: Whom did she take to Jamaica?  She took him.  To whom does this shoe belong?  It belongs to her.  Here’s the opposing view: Who needs a pencil?  He does.  Do you know who shot J.R.?  I think she did.

That little trick works for almost every comparison of who versus whom, and it works well as a handy reference when you aren’t carrying a grammar and style manual with you, which I’m guessing you don’t often do.  If you have trouble remembering which goes with which, just remember that whom and him both end in m, so they belong together.